dad's root beer.

disclaimer before i begin this post: to my friend jay tibbits, if you or anyone who knows him reads this... i just want to say, i wasn't stalking you on facebook. you're facebook status revealed itself on my mini-feed which resulted in a really great five minutes of laugher. so i thank you. 

i guess my disclaimer explained the story behind this post but i'll go a little more into it. i was on facebook today, and up popped my friend jay's facebook status saying, 

"just drank a Dad's root beer."

simple enough. not much else needed to be said about this status. he drank a Dad's root beer. that's great. until i realized people began to comment like no other. and their comments reminded me of how incredibly hysterical the human minds imagination is. get a load of this whole conversation of Dad's root beer. 

comments in response:

"i once drank a Dad's root beer in japan. beat that." 

"i once had a Dad's root beer float in japan." 

jay - " i once swam in a pool of Dad's root beer and drank it as i soared underwater and it went through my nose and there was also a big ice cream iceberg that i could bite. oh yeah, and that was in the mediterranean. on that same trip i discovered a lost tribe of israel 

and cracked open a fresh Dad's root beer for them. a week later after hiking east and swimming to japan, i once found myself in a hot tub of 7 japanese politicians, let's just say they loved the Dad's root beer i began to share with them."

"ah that was good but check this out. this one time when i was hiking mount everest, on my way back down from reaching the top, i found a beautiful waterfall. to my surprise it was none other than the root beer known as Dad's. i did a double back flip to swan dive into a frothy root beer float pond. after, i was carried back to my giant hotel room on the backs of 12 natives. i bathed and lay in my robe on my CA king size bed, sipping none other than Dad's itself." 

jay- "that was great man, however, it reminded me of this one time when i was in spain. i was bare back riding this bull down the streets of madrid, one hand on the rope, the other on the Dad's root beer. after a solid hour run of downtown, i somehow... ended up in paris, where me and 4 beautiful french women elevated ourselves onto the eiffel tower. as we reached the peak, enjoying this great moment, we all embraced and began to french kiss, in this whirlwind of greatness, from above a fresh brewed can of Dad's root beer was showered onto our faces as we shared a taste and shook our hair into the wind. the experience was unforgettable." 

"once my plane wrecked in the sahara desert. i was the only survivor. after days of walking without food or water, i knew that i wouldn't make it. i collapsed and waited to die. the next thing i knew there was a bright light all around me and i was being carried in someone's arms. i heard a deep voice that said, "DRINK" and a curious elixir was poured into my mouth. strength returned to my body. "Who are you?" 

         "....I am Dad...."

i don't remember anything after that. i woke up in a nigerian hospital, sure it had all been a dream. the nurse brought me my lunch and i took a sip of the drink and i thought i heard someone whisper "I will always be with you." i looked at the blue and yellow label. 

it was Dad's root beer." 

and that my friends, is how they left the conversation, and i was dying. 

i really hope you found humor in this. 

happy saturday, and while you're at it, grab a Dad's root beer. 

it's only fair.