I Didn't Pay Rent Today.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I didn't pay rent today. Let me tell you why. 
Do you see this dog here?
precious huh?
no. not anymore. 
I have added a new item to my list of fears. 
PUG DOGS. 
just the pugs though. nothing more. 
you see, 
I was on my way to management to pay April's Rent which is located in someone's home. 
Unfortunately, a turn of events occurred. 
I park my car on the side of the neighborhood street across from the home and all of a sudden I hear a ruckus of dogs barking. 
uncontrollably barking. 
To the point where I was 1.) really annoyed and 2.) a little curious as to what was going on. 
From my window I look down and see these two pug dogs barking at my window. 
I can't get out. 
If I open my door they will jump on me. Or maybe I might nail them with my door resulting into an even bigger problem. 
So I wait. I can be patient. I'll just let these mutts do their barking, 
give them some time to realize that they don't bother me. 
wa-la. I am a genius. 
They figure it out and play follow the leader as they prance off onto the sidewalk. 
coast is clear. 
So I hop on out of my car, take a stroll across the street. 
"good I think, two days before the cut off for paying rent.
I am so on top of life."
"BARK BARK! WOOF WOOF BARK WOOF WOOF!"
what on earth could those pugs want now???
ME.
THEY WANT ME. 
I turn my body around just in time to see that the pugs were not done harassing me. 
This time, they are full on sprinting.
Picture it in slow motion okay?
I am their target and they are full pledge coming at my direction. 
Tongues are hanging out like some sick creature. 
Ears are flapping. 
Beethoven. 
Not quite but close. 
Shoot... I start hauling it down the street screaming my head off. 
Screaming for life. 
I know I sound so dramatic right now but at the moment I was fearful. 
All of these horror stories of people getting attacked by dogs flashed in my head. 
I will be one of those victims. 
They are now chasing me down the neighborhood streets and the only words I can get myself to say are, 
"GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME."
They chase me back to my car and as I am trying to unlock it they are nibbling at my sweatpants. 
For the love of Rachel GET OFF OF ME!.
I manage to get into my car and drive off, heart pounding and all so I decide to roll my windows down and bark back at them as I lay my foot on the gas... 
Phew. I made it. Alive.
And no I didn't pay Rent today but I had a good reason as to why I didn't. 
So if you own a pug dog. 
Keep that rat away from me. 

4 comments:

Brian said...

ok...this story is hilarious. I can seriously see you doing this!!!

Reimstar said...

Oh I'm sorry that I'm laughing so hard at this because I'm sure it was truly a traumatizing experience for you! My best friend in high school was attacked by a dog once and I thought it was the funniest ever! I'm sorry but I love these kinds of stories! Thanks for sharing!

Jake and Jenna said...

for the record, the part where you were barking back is true because i was on the phone with you wondering what the heck you were doing.

are you sure you didn't say some choice and special words during this whole experience?

Welcome to pojo... said...

oh my gosh i a laughing so hard right now! i am so scared of dogs.. ask jenna and i would have been 100 percent traumatized.glad you made it back safe!

this might tickle your fancy

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