for the love of art.

It's funny how as you age, you begin to find and understand what really intrigues you, what you become insanely passionate about. You kind of sort your interests based on priorities and then you begin to find what defines you. At least, this applies to me, I'm not too certain if it applies to anyone else.

Growing up I had a keen love for fashion, and don't you dare get me wrong, I still do, but I believe my love for it has grown into a different sort of love. It's no longer my priority and I no longer envision it being a huge part of my life. When I was younger, I read only Nancy Drew Mysteries (which I still read from time to time, do not judge but it's the child in me), and sadly Harper's Bazaar and Vogue Magazines. I'd read it cover to cover from the editors notes to what's in and what's out. I began to become aware of world wide designers and all the top names in the fashion industry. I was educating myself and I found it so intriguing. I still find this all appealing today. But back then, I believed it was what would become of me. I believed and hoped that I would find an occupation in the fashion industry, and make my name known as a well known fashion designer. My mom is an unreal seamstress, as I have mentioned this time and time again. She knew of my obsessions and I am so thankful that she took note and helped me to enhance my talents within it.  I could draw, and I loved doing so, my mom also is very artistic, she studied fine arts in college and I think she became thrilled that she could sense a bit of her in me. So I'd draw and sketch and design clothing that I dreamt of and wished that it were mine. My mom supported me by sewing my clothing sketches and allowing my visions to come to life. I was beyond thrilled.

I remember my bedroom was painted a bright pink which was such a bad idea looking back on it. The hallway leading up to my room was always glowing, oh my gosh it was so bad, but at the time, I knew I loved it and so I'd never change or wish for it to have been different, despite my taste now. But what I truly remember was the selfless hours my mom spent painting a mural of mannequins on my wall wearing my fashion designs that I had sketched in my sketch book. What a dream it was for me! And how awesome of my mom for doing that? She did a superb job and to this day, I am so happy she did that for me.

So through High School, that's all her and I did, I'd design gowns and she'd sew and construct them and I'd wear them to my high school dances and pageants (I only did this as an excuse to design a dress, I was so anti pageants, believe you me.) My favorite outings with my mom was going to our favorite hole in the wall fabric store in Buckhead, Georgia where it was a freaking gold mine of very high end textiles. We still go and visit to this day whenever I go home, even if we aren't designing anything, it's just our place to go. So with all of this said, this was my life. And I loved it, and I look back and still love it. Those days are some of my favorite memories. At the time of applying to colleges, I considered heavily on the idea of going to Savannah College of Art and Design, a very elite school for the arts where I would study fashion design. Keep in mind, that throughout all my years of high school, I was taking oil painting classes and enjoyed them so much that I cared more about those painting assignments than my math homework (go figure.)

Due to much contemplation and knowing that I had to be realistic about my decisions, I knew that with my lifestyle and beliefs that ultimately, I wanted to get married and raise a family somewhere down the road in my future. With that being said, I knew that it wouldn't be ideal to go about this while trying to become a fashion designer. I don't want to be a powerhouse, I'm not one of those girls with a desire to be a working mom, I just want to have passion, talent, and goals, and if being recognized through my talents is all that I am given, I will be very much appreciative and feel nothing but blessed. I'm not looking for fame, and I know that at times I can be sensitive to critics and I am well aware of how cut-throat the fashion industry is. I wouldn't last, and I wouldn't be happy.

So, I bucked up and made the decision to move out to Utah where I would meet people from all over rather than just the South and its always a bonus that I had a ton of family out there going to school as well. So Utah it was.

Well, like I said, isn't it interesting how as you age, you begin to understand and find what really intrigues you and what you becomes insanely passionate about? It happened. With five years of focusing on nothing but fine arts, painting and art history, I have found my golden treasure, the one thing that makes me spark with delight. And I am so in love and addicted with what I do.

I haven't forgotten my one true love, fashion but it's no longer my priority, I feel that fashion with all of the fashion blogs and what not now, has taken a different turn and its very far from the direction I was going towards. You could say, my direction of fashion was more guided towards the artistic side of things. That's where my mind goes, that's where my thoughts take me. Im not interested in fashion to be the best of the best, to make a priority to look good on the street in order to be recognize, to list where I purchased things for others to swoon and acknowledge. And for those who take their fashion in that sort of direction, that's awesome! I have nothing against it, but it's just not me and that's how I feel the world is right now, and that's okay. But for me, I love to learn how the fashion began, what inspired the designers and why they do the things they do. I love the behind the scenes of fashion, the works, the magic. That's what makes me giddy. And that's how I use my love for fashion, as an inspiration to the arts, to my paintings and in so many ways, it's still me, it's still a part of who I was when I was younger and who I am today. And that's what makes me happy.

One more realization, I am a sucker for art history. I never thought I would be in high school, but I am. I cannot stop registering for art history classes every semester. I am completely fascinated with the old masters and the historical art periods. I am so intrigued and it's become a very passionate thing in my life. And I am excited to love this. It's a great outlet for wanting to continually learn and educate myself. Find which of the old masters I can relate to and learn from their traditional painting methods and techniques. With that said, if the Zoo is reading this, I'm seriously so in love with these #2 pencils with the art movements engraved in gold. This sounds like a guilty pleasure to me, and I'd love to keep them safe on my work desk where I paint. OOoowwweeee.

I'm just so thankful that I went with my gut and decided to focus on what I knew best, what I was told that that was all I did during recess or free time in preschool was art. It's a huge part of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And that's a wrap.